Sons and Lovers - Chapter 9
儿子与情人 - 第九章
Paul's artistic ability continued to grow. He spent every spare moment drawing or painting, trying to capture the beauty he saw in the world.
保罗的艺术能力继续增长。他花每一刻画或画,试图捕捉他在世界看到的美。
His teacher, Mr. Heaton, was impressed by his progress. "You have a real gift, Paul," he said. "You could be a great artist."
他的老师希顿先生对他的进步印象深刻。"你有真正的天赋,保罗,"他说,"你能成为伟大艺术家。"
Paul was encouraged, but he also felt the pressure. His mother expected great things from him, and he didn't want to disappoint her.
保罗被鼓励,但他也感觉压力。母亲期待他伟大的事情,他不想让她失望。
"I will work hard," he promised himself. "I will make something of myself."
"我会努力工作,"他对自己承诺,"我会出人头地。"
He began entering local art competitions, and to his surprise and joy, he started winning prizes. His paintings of the countryside were especially praised, capturing the light and mood of the landscape in ways that amazed the judges.
他开始参加当地艺术比赛,令他惊讶和快乐,他开始赢得奖项。他乡村的画尤其受表扬,以惊奇评委的方式捕捉景观的光线和情绪。
Gertrude was proud of her son's success, though she didn't understand art herself. "My Paul is clever," she would say to neighbors. "He has a special talent."
格特鲁德为儿子的成功骄傲,尽管她不理解艺术。"我的保罗聪明,"她会告诉邻居,"他有特殊天赋。"
But Paul's mind was often elsewhere. When he wasn't painting, he was thinking about Miriam or Clara, confused by his feelings for both of them.
但保罗的思想经常在别处。当他不画画,他在想米里亚姆或克拉拉,被对两者的感情困惑。
Miriam wanted him to focus on his art, to build a future where they could be together properly. Clara wanted him in the present, to enjoy the passion that burned between them.
米里亚姆想让他专注艺术,建立他们可以适当在一起的未来。克拉拉想他在现在,享受在他们之间燃烧的激情。
Paul felt pulled in different directions. He loved art, but he also loved these women, and he didn't know how to balance everything.
保罗感觉被拉向不同方向。他爱艺术,但他也爱这些女性,他不知道如何平衡一切。
His paintings began to show this conflict. They were darker now, more intense, showing a struggle between light and shadow.
他的画开始显示这个冲突。它们现在更黑暗,更强烈,显示光和影之间的斗争。
Mr. Heaton noticed the change. "Your work is becoming more serious," he said. "But I am worried about you, Paul. You seem tired."
希顿先生注意到变化。"你的工作变得更严肃,"他说,"但我担心你,保罗。你看起来累。"
Paul was tired. He was tired of trying to please everyone—his mother, Miriam, Clara, and most of all, himself.
保罗累。他厌倦试图让每个人高兴——母亲、米里亚姆、克拉拉,最重要的是他自己。
He didn't know what he wanted anymore. All he knew was that he needed to figure it out, before the confusion destroyed him.
他不再知道想要什么。他知道的是他需要弄清楚,在困惑毁灭他之前。