Ulysses - Chapter 20
Ulysses - Bab 20
Molly lay awake in the darkness, her mind wandering through memories and desires. She thought about Blazes Boylan, about their passionate afternoon together. He was exciting, virile, everything Leopold was not.
Molly terbangun dalam kegelapan, mengembara di antara kenangan dan keinginan. Dia memikirkan Blazes Boylan, sore penuh gairah yang mereka bagikan. Dia menarik, jantan, dan memiliki semua yang tidak dimiliki Leopold.
But she also thought about Leopold, about their early courtship and the love they had shared. He had been so romantic then, writing her letters, bringing her flowers, making her feel special. When had that changed? When had they become strangers sharing a bed?
Tapi dia juga memikirkan Leopold. Pacaran awal dan cinta yang pernah mereka miliki. Saat itu dia sangat romantis, menulis surat, mengirim bunga, membuatnya merasa istimewa. Kapan itu berubah? Kapan mereka menjadi orang asing yang tidur di ranjang yang sama?
She remembered other lovers, other men who had desired her. There had been many over the years, some before marriage, some after. Each one had offered something different, filled some need or void.
Dia mengingat kekasih lain, pria lain yang menginginkannya. Ada banyak selama bertahun-tahun. Beberapa sebelum menikah, beberapa setelah menikah. Masing-masing membawa sesuatu yang berbeda, mengisi kebutuhan atau kekosongan tertentu.
Her thoughts turned to her daughter Milly, now working in Mullingar. The girl was growing up, becoming a woman. Soon she would have her own lovers, her own complicated relationships. Life continued, generation after generation.
Pikiran melayang ke Milly, putri yang bekerja di Mullingar. Gadis itu sedang tumbuh, menjadi wanita. Segera dia akan memiliki kekasih sendiri, memiliki hubungan yang rumit. Hidup terus berjalan, diteruskan dari generasi ke generasi.
Molly thought about her singing career, about the opportunities she had missed. She could have been famous, could have traveled the world performing. Instead, she had married Leopold and settled into domestic life.
Molly memikirkan karier menyanyinya, kesempatan yang terlewatkan. Dia bisa saja terkenal, berkeliling dunia. Sebaliknya, dia menikah dengan Leopold dan menetap dalam kehidupan ibu rumah tangga.
Did she regret it? Sometimes yes, sometimes no. Life was full of choices, and every choice meant giving up other possibilities. She had chosen Leopold, had chosen this life. Now she had to live with the consequences.
Apakah dia menyesal? Kadang-kadang ya, kadang-kadang tidak. Hidup penuh dengan pilihan, dan setiap pilihan berarti melepaskan kemungkinan lain. Dia memilih Leopold, memilih hidup ini. Sekarang dia harus hidup dengan hasilnya.
She felt Leopold stir beside her, felt his kiss on her bottom. The gesture touched her, reminded her of his devotion despite everything. He knew about Boylan, she was certain. Yet he stayed, he endured.
Dia merasakan Leopold bergerak di sampingnya, merasakan ciuman di pantat. Isyarat itu menyentuh hatinya, mengingatkannya pada pengabdiannya meskipun ada segalanya. Dia tahu tentang Boylan, dia yakin. Tapi dia masih di sana, masih bertahan.
Molly's thoughts drifted to Gibraltar, to her youth, to the day Leopold had proposed. She remembered saying yes, remembered the hope and excitement of that moment. And she thought: yes, I said yes I will Yes.
Pikiran Molly melayang ke Gibraltar, ke masa mudanya, hari ketika Leopold melamarnya. Dia ingat mengatakan ya, ingat harapan dan kegembiraan saat itu. Dan dia berpikir: ya, aku berkata ya, aku akan. Yes.