Ulysses - Chapter 19
Ulysses - Bab 19
Bloom entered the bedroom where Molly lay sleeping. The bed was warm, rumpled from her afternoon activities. He could smell Boylan's presence, the evidence of their encounter impossible to ignore.
Bloom memasuki kamar tidur tempat Molly sedang tidur. Tempat tidur hangat dan kusut dari pertemuan sore itu. Dia mencium bau Boylan, bukti tak terbantahkan bahwa mereka bersama.
He examined the bed carefully, noting every detail with scientific detachment. The sheets were disturbed, the pillows displaced. He found a small stain, proof of what had occurred. The knowledge settled in his stomach like lead.
Dengan ketenangan seperti ilmuwan, dia mengamati tempat tidur secara detail. Seprai berantakan, bantal bergeser. Dia melihat noda-noda kecil, bukti dari apa yang terjadi. Pengetahuan itu berat seperti timah di perutnya.
Molly stirred but didn't wake. Bloom looked at her in the dim light, seeing the woman he had married so many years ago. She was still beautiful, still desirable. He understood why Boylan wanted her, why any man would.
Molly bergerak tetapi tidak bangun. Bloom memandangnya dalam cahaya redup. Wanita yang dinikahinya bertahun-tahun yang lalu. Dia masih cantik, masih diinginkan. Dia mengerti mengapa Boylan menginginkannya, mengapa pria mana pun menginginkannya.
He thought about their marriage, about how they had drifted apart over the years. The death of Rudy had changed everything, had created a distance between them that neither could bridge. They hadn't made love properly in over ten years.
Dia memikirkan kehidupan pernikahan mereka, tentang bagaimana mereka telah menjauh selama bertahun-tahun. Kematian Rudy mengubah segalanya, menciptakan jurang di antara mereka yang tidak bisa diisi siapa pun. Mereka tidak saling mencintai dengan benar selama lebih dari sepuluh tahun.
Could he blame Molly for seeking comfort elsewhere? She was a passionate woman with normal desires. He had failed to satisfy her, had withdrawn into himself after Rudy's death. Perhaps this was inevitable.
Bisakah dia menyalahkan Molly karena mencari kenyamanan di tempat lain? Dia adalah wanita yang penuh gairah dan memiliki kebutuhan normal. Dia tidak bisa memuaskannya, menarik diri ke dalam dirinya sendiri setelah kematian Rudy. Mungkin ini tidak terelakkan.
Bloom undressed quietly and climbed into bed beside his wife. The sheets were cool on his side, warm on hers. He lay still, listening to her breathing, feeling the familiar weight of her body next to his.
Bloom melepas pakaian dengan tenang dan berbaring di samping istrinya. Seprai di sisinya dingin, di sisinya hangat. Dia berbaring diam, mendengarkan napasnya, merasakan berat tubuhnya yang akrab di sampingnya.
He thought about asking her to make love, about trying to reclaim what they had lost. But he knew it wouldn't happen. The moment wasn't right, the wounds too fresh. Perhaps tomorrow, or next week, or never.
Dia berpikir untuk memohon cintanya, mencoba mendapatkan kembali apa yang hilang. Tapi dia tahu itu tidak akan terjadi. Waktunya tidak tepat, lukanya masih terlalu baru. Besok, atau minggu depan, atau mungkin tidak akan pernah.
Instead, Bloom kissed Molly's bottom, a gesture of affection and acceptance. She was his wife, for better or worse. He would stay with her, would continue their imperfect life together.
Sebagai gantinya, Bloom mencium pantat Molly, tanda cinta dan penerimaan. Dia adalah istrinya, baik atau buruk. Dia akan bersamanya, melanjutkan kehidupan tidak sempurna mereka bersama.
Sleep came slowly, bringing strange dreams and half-formed thoughts. The day was finally over.
Kantuk perlahan mengambil alih, membawa mimpi-mimpi aneh dan pikiran yang belum terbentuk. Hari akhirnya berakhir.