Sons and Lovers - Chapter 7
Anak dan Kekasih - Bab 7
The kiss happened in summer, in the fields behind the Leivers farm. The air was warm and thick with the smell of flowers and earth.
Ciuman itu terjadi di musim panas, di ladang di belakang peternakan Leivers. Udaranya hangat dan berat dengan aroma bunga dan tanah.
Paul had wanted to kiss Miriam for a long time. He thought about her constantly, dreamed about her, and when they were together, he could barely think at all.
Paul sudah lama ingin mencium Miriam. Dia memikirkannya terus-menerus, memimpikannya, dan ketika mereka bersama, dia hampir tidak bisa memikirkan hal lain.
"You are so beautiful," he said to her that day, his voice low and uncertain.
"Kamu cantik," katanya padanya hari itu, suaranya dalam dan tidak yakin.
Miriam looked at him with her large eyes. "Do you really think so?"
Miriam menatapnya dengan mata bulat besarnya. "Apakah kamu benar-benar berpikir begitu?"
"Yes," Paul said. "More than you know."
"Ya," kata Paul. "Lebih dari yang kamu tahu."
He leaned forward and kissed her. It was gentle at first, a shy exploration of this new intimacy. But as the moments passed, something in Paul stirred—a hunger, a need that went beyond simple affection.
Dia membungkuk dan menciumnya. Itu lembut pada awalnya, eksplorasi malu-malu dari keintiman baru ini. Tetapi seiring berjalannya waktu, sesuatu bangkit dalam diri Paul — rasa lapar, kebutuhan yang melampaui kasih sayang sederhana.
Miriam pulled back, her face flushed and confused. "Paul, we should not."
Miriam menarik diri, wajahnya memerah dan bingung. "Paul, kita tidak seharusnya."
"Why not?" Paul asked, feeling rejected.
"Kenapa tidak?" tanya Paul, merasa ditolak.
"It is not right," she said. "We are not married."
"Itu tidak benar," katanya. "Kita belum menikah."
Paul felt a wave of frustration. Why did everything have to be so complicated? Why couldn't he just love Miriam without all these restrictions?
Paul merasakan gelombang frustrasi. Mengapa semuanya harus begitu rumit? Mengapa dia tidak bisa begitu saja mencintai Miriam tanpa semua aturan ini?
But he knew Miriam was a religious girl, raised to believe that physical love was something sacred, to be saved for marriage.
Tetapi dia tahu bahwa Miriam adalah gadis yang religius, dibesarkan untuk percaya bahwa cinta fisik adalah sesuatu yang sakral, yang harus dijaga untuk pernikahan.
"I am sorry," he said, stepping back. "I should not have done that."
"Maaf," katanya, mundur selangkah. "Aku tidak seharusnya melakukan itu."
Miriam looked at him, her expression troubled. "I am not angry, Paul. I just want to do what is right."
Miriam menatapnya dengan cemas. "Aku tidak marah, Paul. Aku hanya ingin melakukan apa yang benar."
They walked home in silence, the air between them changed now, filled with the awkwardness of what had happened.
Mereka berjalan pulang dalam diam, udara di antara mereka sekarang berubah, sarat dengan kecanggung tentang apa yang telah terjadi.
Paul thought about the kiss all the way home. He felt guilty, but also excited, more alive than he had ever felt before. He didn't know what this meant, but he knew that something had changed between them forever.
Paul memikirkan ciuman itu sepanjang jalan pulang. Dia merasa bersalah, tetapi juga bersemangat, merasa lebih hidup daripada sebelumnya. Dia tidak tahu apa artinya ini, tetapi dia tahu bahwa sesuatu di antara mereka telah berubah selamanya.