Sons and Lovers - Chapter 3
Anak dan Kekasih - Bab 3
William's death came suddenly. He had been working in London, making a good life for himself. Then came the illness that would take him from them.
Kematian William datang secara tiba-tiba. Dia telah bekerja di London, membangun kehidupan yang baik. Kemudian penyakit itu datang dan merenggutnya.
Gertrude received the news with a calm that frightened Paul. She moved through her days like a person in a dream, doing what needed to be done, making arrangements, writing letters, but her heart was broken.
Gertrude menerima berita itu dengan ketenangan yang menakutkan Paul. Dia menjalani hari-harinya seperti orang dalam mimpi, melakukan apa yang perlu dilakukan, mengatur segalanya, menulis surat, tetapi hatinya hancur.
Paul watched his mother with pain. He saw how she aged in those weeks, how her hair seemed to whiten overnight, how the light left her eyes.
Paul memperhatikan ibunya dengan rasa sakit. Dia melihat bagaimana dia menua dalam minggu-minggu itu, bagaimana rambutnya tampak memutih dalam semalam, bagaimana cahaya meninggalkan matanya.
"I have lost my son," she would say quietly to herself. "My beautiful William."
"Aku telah kehilangan putraku," bisiknya pada dirinya sendiri. "William-ku yang cantik."
The house felt empty without William's energy and laughter. Even Walter was affected, though he tried not to show it. He drank more than usual, coming home later and later.
Rumah itu terasa kosong tanpa energi dan tawa William. Bahkan Walter pun terpengaruh, meskipun dia berusaha untuk tidak menunjukkannya. Dia minum lebih banyak dari biasanya, pulang semakin larut.
But the greatest change was in Gertrude. Before, she had divided her love between her two sons. Now, all her love focused on Paul.
Tetapi perubahan terbesar ada pada Gertrude. Sebelumnya, dia membagi cintanya untuk kedua putranya. Sekarang, semua cintanya terfokus pada Paul.
Paul became the center of her world. She watched his every move, listened to his every word, offered constant advice and concern.
Paul menjadi pusat dunianya. Dia memperhatikan setiap gerakannya, mendengarkan setiap kata yang diucapkannya, terus-menerus menawarkan nasihat dan kekhawatiran.
"Are you warm enough?" "Have you eaten?" "Are you tired, my son?"
"Apakah kamu cukup hangat?" "Apakah kamu sudah makan?" "Apakah kamu lelah, nak?"
Paul loved his mother, but he also began to feel the weight of her love. It was a love that demanded everything, that left no space for anything else.
Paul mencintai ibunya, tetapi dia juga mulai merasakan beban cintanya. Itu adalah cinta yang menuntut segalanya, tidak menyisakan ruang untuk hal lain.
He tried to find his own interests, his own friends, but always he returned to his mother, to the comfort of her understanding, to the safety of her protection.
Dia mencoba menemukan minatnya sendiri, teman-temannya sendiri, tetapi dia selalu kembali kepada ibunya, kepada kenyamanan pengertiannya, kepada keamanan perlindungannya.
And so, in the shadow of William's death, the bond between Paul and his mother grew stronger and more complex, a relationship that would shape all of Paul's future.
Dan begitulah, di bawah bayang-bayang kematian William, ikatan antara Paul dan ibunya menjadi lebih kuat dan lebih kompleks, sebuah hubungan yang akan membentuk seluruh masa depan Paul.