Sons and Lovers - Chapter 2
Amants et Fils - Chapitre 2
As Paul grew older, his connection with his mother became stronger. Gertrude saw in Paul a reflection of her own disappointed hopes. She had wanted to be an educated woman, to have intellectual interests, but her marriage had taken her away from all that.
À mesure que Paul grandissait, son lien avec sa mère s'approfondissait. Gertrude comptait sur lui pour la compagnie et le soutien émotionnel, le traitant plus comme un partenaire que comme un fils.
Now she lived through Paul. She encouraged his drawing, his love of nature, his sensitive understanding of the world. In return, Paul loved his mother with a deep and almost romantic intensity.
Paul était fier de la confiance de sa mère, mais c'était aussi un lourd fardeau pour un jeune garçon. Il ressentait sa tristesse et sa frustration, et il voulait la rendre heureuse.
"Mother is the only one who understands me," Paul thought.
"Je prendrai soin de toi, mère", lui disait-il. "Quand je serai grand, je t'emmènerai loin d'ici."
But this intense relationship began to worry Gertrude. She knew it was not healthy for a son to be so dependent on his mother. She tried to push him away, to make him more independent.
Gertrude souriait, mais c'était un sourire triste. Elle savait que le monde n'était pas si simple.
"You must make friends," she told him. "You must spend time with people your own age."
Walter, voyant la relation étroite entre sa femme et son fils, se sentait exclu. Il essayait de se rapprocher de Paul, mais ses méthodes rudes ne faisaient que repousser le garçon.
Paul tried, but he never felt comfortable with others. He always returned to his mother, seeking the understanding and comfort he could not find anywhere else.
"Viens avec moi, mon garçon", lui dit un jour Walter. "Je vais te montrer comment on travaille."
Meanwhile, William, the older brother, was different. He was outgoing and confident, popular at school. He seemed to have escaped the pull of his mother's intense love.
Mais Paul ne voulait pas y aller. Il avait peur du monde sombre et sale de la mine, le monde qui appartenait à son père.
Gertrude was proud of William's success, but she also felt a strange sadness when he left home to work in London. Her house would be empty without him.
"Laisse-le tranquille, Walter", dit durement Gertrude. "Il n'est pas assez fort pour ce travail."
Paul watched his brother leave with mixed feelings. He admired William's independence, but he also resented how easily William could escape their mother's influence.
Walter se détourna avec colère. "Tu le rends mou", marmonna-il. "Tu en fais une fille."
"I will never be free," Paul thought. "I will always be tied to Mother."
Paul entendit ces mots et ils le blessèrent. Il ne voulait pas être une fille, mais il ne voulait pas non plus être comme son père. Il voulait être comme sa mère — raffiné, instruit, différent.
And so the years passed, with Paul growing ever closer to his mother, while his father became more and more a stranger in their own home.
Ce conflit déchirait Paul en deux. Il aimait son père, malgré ses défauts, mais il aimait davantage sa mère. Il voyait le monde à travers ses yeux, jugeant les gens selon ses critères.
Et ainsi passèrent les années, Paul se rapprochant toujours plus de sa mère, tandis que son père devenait de plus en plus un étranger dans sa propre maison.