Ulysses - Chapter 20
Molly lay awake in the darkness, her mind wandering through memories and desires. She thought about Blazes Boylan, about their passionate afternoon together. He was exciting, virile, everything Leopold was not.
But she also thought about Leopold, about their early courtship and the love they had shared. He had been so romantic then, writing her letters, bringing her flowers, making her feel special. When had that changed? When had they become strangers sharing a bed?
She remembered other lovers, other men who had desired her. There had been many over the years, some before marriage, some after. Each one had offered something different, filled some need or void.
Her thoughts turned to her daughter Milly, now working in Mullingar. The girl was growing up, becoming a woman. Soon she would have her own lovers, her own complicated relationships. Life continued, generation after generation.
Molly thought about her singing career, about the opportunities she had missed. She could have been famous, could have traveled the world performing. Instead, she had married Leopold and settled into domestic life.
Did she regret it? Sometimes yes, sometimes no. Life was full of choices, and every choice meant giving up other possibilities. She had chosen Leopold, had chosen this life. Now she had to live with the consequences.
She felt Leopold stir beside her, felt his kiss on her bottom. The gesture touched her, reminded her of his devotion despite everything. He knew about Boylan, she was certain. Yet he stayed, he endured.
Molly's thoughts drifted to Gibraltar, to her youth, to the day Leopold had proposed. She remembered saying yes, remembered the hope and excitement of that moment. And she thought: yes, I said yes I will Yes.